Adhere
by alcoholocaust
Summary: Surviving, was that really what he was doing here? - This is a love story, of sorts. - Future ZaDr! Rated M for safety.


**Okay, this is my first story and I hope it grbs you and makes you want more. Please read and review! -yours, Argy.**

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Zim's steps squeaked down the hallways of the High Skool, the filthy human building that housed all the earth worm babies day to day, teaching them. His usual demeanor was overshadowed today by a cloud of despair and confusion. His contact covered eyes were downcast towards the dirty floors, which were covered in something he could only guess was a mixture of mold and blood. Ditry humans…. a sigh left the irken boys mouth and he shook his head. For a moment he stopped walking, looking up to catch his reflection in a grimy windows of the Skool. A short, green skinned, blue eyed boy creature with black hair shaped into a spiky hairdo stared back at him. The contacts were hiding his true round and bright ruby eyes, and the wig hid his antenna. Keeping these things hidden was a key to his survival.

Surviving, was that really what he was doing here? Zim dropped his eyes back to the floor, continuing his squeaky path to the cafeteria. He wasn't going to eat, he never really did, but he had to keep up appearances, which meant showing up with all the other filthy stink babies and taking at least one bite of the slop they passed off as human food. Though it greatly upset his squeedily spooch each time he ingested the rotten slop, today would be no different, though he welcomed the pain the "food" would bring. At least he would be able to feel something other than crushing failure and regret. As he lazily pushed the door to the cafeteria open Zim felt the Dib-stinks eye's on him as he slowly moved to the end of the lunch line. Ignoring the glare the big headed boy kept on him as he stood in the line, Zim instead inspected the grime on the floor, drawing lines in it with his boots. _I should really get a sample of this and run some tests on it. _ Though what was the point? With a grunt Zim kicked at the dirty floor, stubbing his foot and doing a dance of pain. Behind him he heard Dib's infernal giggling. The sound grated on his already fragile nerves and he turned his head in jerky movements to stare at the boy with narrowed and dark eyes. It took about three seconds for Dib to stop laughing, squeak, and hide behind his sister. Gaz shoved the boy aside and grunted, not even diverting more than an inkling of attention away from the game that was glued to her hands like it normally was.

All in all it was a normal day, or it seemed like one, but Zim's life would never be normal again. He turned his head back to the front, and reached up to grab a lunch tray from the pile. It was greasy looking, and he almost gagged at the scent of the object. "Stupid unclean filthy huumyans." He drew out the last word like it was new, as if he'd never heard it before and he was testing it out. He had said the word more times than he could ever count, but this time it felt different, foreign though familiar As the ugly, withered lunch lady put scoops of food on his plate Zim made faces, each more horrified than the last. _Oh, look, it's corn and mayonnaise day. I'm overjoyed. _The food smelled like an unholy concoction of sweat and vegetables, something only monsters could serve to little children. He scanned the wide open room, looking for an empty table, his eyes noting the green look of his classmates. He was definitely going to skip eating today, no matter how empty he felt, there was no reason to torture himself. Zim sighed and set the tray down on the table, this object of the skool being just as grimy as any other. It was obvious the skool didn't care about the health or the hygiene of it's students. In fact it had been proven on many occasions, he wasn't sure why but such is life.

From over his shoulder he could hear Dib talking a mile a minute, as he always did, to Gaz about him. They'd both grown so much over the years, their bodies changing and aging as humans were supposed to do. Both had gotten taller and lankier with age, Gaz more so than Dib. Gaz's hair still looked as if it was going to engulf her head at any moment, though it was considerably longer. Dib… well he still had a big head, though his hair spike had begun to grow in the scythe like shape his father's did, making it seems as the reason for his bloated head was not his anatomy but his hairstyle. He scanned his eyes over the room, noting the changes in his human classmates. Some had gotten taller and skinnier while some had gotten fatter. Zim had not changed. He would probably look the same throughout his classmates entire lives. Years did not pass the same on Earth as they did on Irk. A year on Irk was ten of the Earth's years. He explained his stunted growth as easily to the populace as he had his "skin condition". He'd spouted something about it in response to Dib's accusations that he hadn't aged in years. His eyes landed on Dib again, tuning back into his one sided conversation with his sister. "I mean look at him, he's green for Christ's sake! Does no one see this? I mean last week he…" Zim tuned out the noise by setting his head down on the disgusting table and crossing his arms over his head. Images flashed behind his closed lids, taunting him. The Tallest, their bodies racked with the laughter and their eyes filled with tears of amusement. The entire armada joining in, pointing and laughing at the misfortune of Zim.

"Zim! I demand to know what dastardly and evil plan you have planned in that evil mind of yours!" The annoying and ever vigilant Dib-stink was calling to him, standing on top of the lunch table with his hand outstretched dramatically, his finger pointed at Zim. Zim heaved a noticeable sigh, his small body lifting and falling with the intake and release of air. He wasn't in the mood to play this silly game with Dib, he wanted to go back to his base, his home, and… do nothing. He knew though, he had to keep up appearances, at least until he knew what he was going to do with himself. The irken drew in a deep breath and unfolded himself and threw his finger back out towards the human worm baby. "I have no plans, I am huumyan, just like all of you. Disgustingly… human." His words were lackluster and dry, missing the usual grandeur they held. He said the last word normally, not drawing it out and putting emphasis on it, just saying it. It felt odd and it made his skin crawl with feelings he didn't want to acknowledge just yet. Feelings he couldn't acknowledge just yet. Dib narrowed his eyes at the irken, the amber circles calculating, yet insane. _What an interesting combination, I should take them out and study them… eventually._ "I do not have time to listen to your prattling, Dib-stink." Zim said, dropping his arm and jumping out of his seat. "I have things to do!~" He shouted, turning on his heel and marching out of the cafeteria, stiff legged and proud though he didn't feel very prideful at the moment. He felt empty and sad, he felt dejected and thrown away. He wouldn't let the human see this though, because it would mean that he had won and that Zim had lost, and Zim never lost.

With slow and heavy steps the irken made his way out of the skool and towards his home. He was unsure of what he was going to do when he arrived home, but the thought of remaining in skool any longer was unbearable. With all the dirty humans staring at him, mocking him. The sky above looked dark and clouds were rapidly forming over the city. He quickened his steps, eyes alternating between the sky and the world in front of him. _Here I thought the day couldn't get any worse._ Zim scowled and bared his teeth, growling low under his breath at the oncoming storm. This planet's weather would kill him either way, hot or rainy. He thought about telling his pak to call Gir, but the robot would probably only make things worse, as he always did. As his house came into view the alien was all but running towards it. He could feel tiny droplets of water sizzling away at his skin.

With a hiss he threw the door open and then slammed it shut. He collapsed against it, wheezing.

"Heyo master!" Gir yelled in his high pitched voice, ever happy even after everything that they had learned. He ignored the robot and let his body slide down to the floor. Hot tears formed at the corners of his eyes, and the irken fought the sensation as best he could. He was not meant to feel, no emotions were for the weak and the defective.

Defective…

Memories flooded the Alien's brain.

It'd been seven Earth years since he had landed on the god forsaken blue and green planet. Seeing as he still hadn't managed to take over Earth, because he hadn't the right equipment!, he had called the Tallest asking for new weapons and technology. An odd look passed between the two, and after seeing it Zim looked past them. There were decorations lining the inside of the Massive, and drinks and snacks were being served to the thousands of irken soldiers that occupied it.

"Are you celebrating My Tallest?" Zim had asked, his antennae twitching slightly at the prospect of a party with his fellow invaders. Another odd look passed between the tallest and a whispering began amongst the irken.

"Well you see… Zim." One Tallest started.

"It's for the success of the operation." Zim widened his eyes at this, confused. He had not conquered Earth yet so why would they be celebrating the success if the mission was not yet completed?

"My Tallest," Zim said slowly, steepling his fingers, "I have not yet completed my mission, this is no time for a celebration!"

"We made it up! Your mission, your status as an invader, all of it. There is no mission for you Zim" The Tallest laughed, and laughed.

"Yeah, we just wanted you out of the way for Operation Impending Doom 2." The red Tallest nodded, shaking his soda at the screen where Zim watched, wide eyed and hurt. He felt his heart break in that moment. An irken was programed to submit to any taller being in their race, it was not only his duty, but his wish to please the Tallest. He had done everything on Earth in the name of the Empire, and now they were laughing at him.

"I mean… we exiled you to Foodcourtia, and you "quit" because you thought you were going to be a part of the invasion. We didn't want you messing up our plans. We even gave you a broken SIR unit." The purple Tallest nodded now, a half eaten donut hanging from his grinning mouth.

"We didn't even plan on invading Earth, so we sent you there. It was far enough away that we hoped you wouldn't cause trouble. Which you still managed to do. You've been defective this whole time." The Tallest looked as if he was reminiscing, and an annoyed frown fell across his lips. Zim threaded his fingers together, and dropped them into his lap. There was a hole opening up in his chest, and it was growing and growing the more the Tallest laughed. He could have cared less if the armada thought him a failure, but to hear the words from his most revered leaders… it was like being stabbed and then having the knife twisted back and forth. The wound would heal… but the damage was done.

"Look Zim, we really don't want you back, so why don't you just stay there?" The Tallest nodded in unison, happy with their decision.

"As long as you don't interfere with the Empire, you're free to stay on Earth." There was nothing he could say, words failed him and he felt his pride deflating. There was a few moments of awkward silence as the they stared at each other, the Tallest looking annoyed and Zim looking devastated.

"Well bye then."

The transmission was cut, along with Zim's ties to the Empire, the Armada, and his fellow people. He had sat at his workspace for hours, just staring at the screen, oblivious to the ramblings of the demented robot dancing around the room to get his attention. When he'd finally come around enough to respond to the robot, he was nowhere to be found. He'd spent the rest of the night sullenly walking around his base, unsure whether to scream, cry, or destroy the entire structure. In the end he'd decided on sleeping, something he didn't need to do and hadn't done in a very long time.

Now the irken was sitting against his front door, hands pressed against his eyes to stop the flow of tears that threatened to overflow. With shaky hands he pulled the fake lenses from his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. He let them fall to the floor, staring at them with an unnamed emotion building inside him. He had no idea what this new feeling was, but he hated it. He hated the way it felt like he was sinking. With an angry noise he ripped the wig from his head and threw it to the floor. He contemplated stamping his foot down on the object, but instead he stared at it for a few moments and picked it up. He set it on the table beside the door and scoffed as he walked towards the kitchen. "GIR!" He yelled, hailing the robot.

"Yessir?" The robot stopped in front of him and saluted, his eyes going red. Sometimes he wondered about Gir, honestly. At times it seemed as if the robot was a complete and total idiot, missing the needed discipline and control. Other times it seemed fully functional and even helpful.

"Watch the house, I mean it. Guard the house." He knew what was coming, but a part of him hoped that it wouldn't. The robots eyes changed color, and Zim sighed under his breath. It was useless to hope. Hope was for the weak and Zim refused to be weak. Rolling his eyes at the way Gir skipped into the living room and stood in the middle of it like a sentry. That would last all off three seconds.

Three.

Two.

One.

"I'm gonna watch the Angry Monkey show, I love that show." Zim hopped into the toilet in his kitchen, shaking his head and closing his eyes as he pulled the line hanging from the ceiling. The flush took him quickly down, and he watched the levels of his underground pass by him memories of his failed attempts to conquer Earth flashed through his mind. It hurt, it stung, it felt like failure and he hated. He was Zim! He… was alone…

Zim felt the tears again, hot and heavy from his attempts to keep them at bay. Now, alone in his base, alone on the Earth, he let the tears flow. He fell out of the elevator and laid on the floor of the Observatory, tears wetting the cool metal that pressed against his cheek.

He hated every second of it.


End file.
